Why I Don’t Get Interviews #1

People on facebook liked this. So I thought I would put this here for my other non-facebook friends. Sadly, it’s also on the website which is on my resume, and I don’t know if I want prospective employers seeing it. Do you think they would look under Personal? I hope not. Anyway, I added pics to make this more interesting. I did not include the pics in the original letter although that would have been cool.

I found a job that requested what they wanted in a cover letter. A request I could fill in far more than they asked or imagined. And you know, sometimes it’s fun to just let the Errol personality just go when it comes to these things.

Dear Hiring Manager,

You have a post on your website for Game Tester / Support Admin. This was posted on August 30th, so I doubt it’s still around.

However, your request for a cover letter sounds like a lot of fun and I may as well send out one cover letter I enjoyed writing up.

Please include a cover letter explaining why you think we need you at ***********. Tell us about your experiences and passion. Also tell us your favourite games, what makes them great and what you think would make them even better.

You ask why you need me. I could post things that every startup posts on what they’re looking for and I could tell you I fit them perfectly. However, I’m pretty sure everyone does that. You may think you want an outgoing person, or someone with a lot of energy, but then you haven’t met me and that would cause you and most other startups to retract that requirement. However that really isn’t in my favour.

I am a huge geek, love playing games, quite immersed in the geek community of Toronto, however I am quite social. I love interacting and meeting new people (and not in a socially awkward way).

I have many passions. I enjoy writing music, I enjoy writing, I enjoy playing games. I just finished writing and filming a musical about a challenge called National Novel Writing Month. I am in a geek improv band, and love performing. I am also in an improv duo that posts all manner of things to youtube. I also have a podcast which we are re-branding currently so its weekly status is on hiatus for a month. And I have a daily webcomic. In fact, I have two webcomics, because I also draw the official ones for National Novel Writing Month.

Furthermore, I do love games. In fact, I love board games an awful lot. My longest session at Snakes & Lattes (board gaming cafe) is 12 hours. I was there when it opened and they sadly know my name. Lately, I only go for 7 hours at a time though, so I don’t die of heart attacks like they do at internet cafes in Korea.

I usually go during Designer Nights at Snakes & Lattes. See how that nicely fits in with Game Tester? I have two friends that have now published some games (and you can find me in the credits under game tester) and it is enjoyable to go on those nights to prototype new games. We usually give suggestions and try things out. On a more formal level, they do have a private forum where they take more official requests, rule suggestions and testing.

I am stalling, however, because your last question is about a favourite game. I have a hard time with that. I have been gaming since, well, I was a kid. But I will date myself and throw out any chance of an interview because you will realize my age, but I loved a game called “Below the Root“. It was a side scroller adventure game and it was one that I solved over and over again because it captured my imagination so much. Since then, I have played a number of adventure games and RPG games.

Another game I enjoy is a board game called “Space Alert“. If you really are into board games as you state on your website, then you may know this was made by Vlaada Chvátil, the same guy that made “Galaxy Trucker“, “Dungeon Lords” and “Mage Knight“. It’s a real time co-operative game which is great because the problem with co-op board games are the more extroverted people that want to play for everyone else. In “Space Alert”, there is no time for that because it’s real time! A CD plays and indicates on timed intervals when certain things happen. No analysis paralysis! No one can take over because there isn’t enough time. It’s awesome!

I would love to have a board game similar to that but “Mission Impossible” style. The board itself can be rearranged for different scenarios, for example a highrise, or an underground complex. You can choose different team members and you have to be able to succeed at those skill sets: the hacker, the acrobat, the charismatic, Simon Pegg, etc. And all of it would be real time! That would be amazing.

And speaking of improving games, you know what I wish? That games would be a bit more useful for the real world. And I don’t mean in a Jane McGonigal way, although maybe I do. Let me give you an example, and sadly, that example will use Pokémon. Don’t judge me! I liked Pokémon, it was a fun game. I played it as an adult, but that’s one of many reasons my significant other doesn’t like to hang out with me and my friends.

Anyway, if you talk to any Pokémon playing child, they know Pokémon. They know their names, their evolved states, their weaknesses, their powers, their gender if they happen to have one. They memorize their Pokémon stats to a degree that rivals autism.

Wouldn’t it be handy if they learned something useful? For example, what if the Pokémon happened to have French names? And I don’t mean like “Jacques” or “Guy” but I mean if it was a MagiKarp, why not call it a… um… whatever the french is for Magic and Carp. They’re going to memorize these things anyway so may as well teach them another
language.

Ever play Civ, or the Sims? You know how they have nonsense speak? Why does it have to be nonsense? Why can’t it be another language? You know how many times I had to hear the Germans or the Chinese get mad at me as I attacked their capital city? If they spoke in their real language, I could at least have learned something from the many hundreds of hours I poured into those games.

Anyway, remember, you asked for a cover letter like this. You probably were hoping for something more professional.

Thank you, though. Thank you for making it this far, and thank you for an enjoyable cover letter! Enjoyable for me, that is. I have included a text resume, not because I can’t figure out attachments, but I don’t trust your server won’t immediately spam my attachment, like others have in the past.

Take care, and have a great weekend!